October 30, 2009

A scene from life rewritten as a scene from Curb Your Enthusiasm

A while ago I had a conversation that seemed like it could have come from an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. This is roughly what happened, rewritten as a scene from the show.

At an Italian restaurant, Larry, Cheryl, Jeff, and Susie are finishing a meal. Susie announces she needs to use the restroom. “Me, too,” says Larry. “I’ll walk with you.

“What a gentleman,” Susie says, in an uncharacteristically good mood. They walk to the restroom, which is in a part of the restaurant where they can’t see their table. Larry comments on what a nice meal it was. Susie agrees.

They part ways, each entering their respective gender’s bathroom.

Minutes later, after doing what he went in to do, Larry emerges from the men’s room. He stands idly for a moment, looks at the door to the lady’s room, and then returns to the dinner table. He has a seat and rejoins Cheryl and Jeff in their conversation.

A few minutes later, Susie comes back to the table. She is upset. “Larry! Where were you?”

“What do you mean?” Larry asks.

“I was waiting for you to come out of the bathroom. Why did you come back without me?”

“Why did you wait for me? We didn’t have any sort of agreement. There was no ‘I’ll meet you back here so we can walk back to the table together’ agreement.”

“It’s common decency, Larry. Everybody knows. In the absence of an agreement to meet back at the table, you always wait outside the bathroom for the other person.”

“No. In the absense of an agreement, the default is that you just return to the table. There is no expectation of waiting outside the bathroom for the other person.”

An argument ensues, with hilarious consequences.

Comments

Have had this happen to me, too! I think in the absence of an agreement you must fend for yourself, and find your own way back to the table. Obviously, it would have been more polite to wait, but we can’t all be perfect. =)

It would be more polite, but when Larry decides to go back to the table, he has no way of knowing if Susie is even still in the bathroom. For all he knows, she came out first and went to the bathroom without him.

thoroughly enjoyable

Yep, very applicable to CYE. Well done! This is how these things get written!

Then, two episodes later, a similar situation comes up, but this time Larry waits outside the bathroom and some other woman accuses him of trying to peek into the Ladies room. Of course, an underage girl then comes out the door making the situation even worse.

In the absence of an agreement you don’t hang around outside the ladies’ toilet because that is (to an outside observer) hella creepy.

You know you’re living right when you have these Larry moments. I, too, encountered just such a veil a while back on the subway: http://tinyurl.com/kt96p2

Mr. Wisdumb: a perfect lob! ;-)

I love that show, but so many of those “zany” situations could be avoided with a simple STFU. But I guess that’s what makes it so funny. Larry doesn’t have the cojones to stand up for himself. Classic stuff. Not as good as Seinfield, but still good.

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