March 29, 2007

Idea: Develop an F-Bomb

The term “F-Bomb” is used often these days to describe what we used to simply call The F Word (mp3). Specifically, it describes the F Word when it’s used unexpectedly. For example, if a caller on a radio show uses the F Word, the host might chastise him for “dropping the F-Bomb.”

F BombWith that in mind, I think that if I were an evil dictator in a country developing a nuclear weapon, I would name my new weapon “The F-Bomb.” Then I’d get a little giggle every time it was reported in the news that my country is threatening to drop the F-Bomb. As in, “Ironicsansistan tested a long-range missile today, heightening fears that it will follow through on its threats to drop the F-Bomb on South Ironicsansistan.”


I worked on a film once in which the producers and directors were trying very hard to walk the pg-13/R line. They wanted a PG-13 so they were only allowed to say Fuck once and it appeared exactly once in the script.

Every time an actor would get wound up in a performance or fudge a few lines of dialog (happens all the time) and say the word the director would yell “F-bomb, F-bomb,” at the top of his lungs, “this needs to be a kids save movie for Christ’s Fucking Sake!”

He said it in front of the press kit people a few times. I wonder what the special features on the DVD will rate.

I eagerly await further developments in Ironicsansistan. Is it a communist state? What is the national anthem? What are the longstanding cultural rifts between North and South?

And DVD special features are unrated, Thomas. I’m still waiting for a gin-and-profanity-soaked commentary track for the next Harry Potter movie.

The UN could employ linguists as weapons inspectors searching for signs of F-bomb proliferation.

Do your worst, Ironicsansistan!

Thanks to our newly developed missile defense shield, we are now rubber and you are glue. Whatever you drop will bounce off of us and utterly destroy you!.

Next time I play croquet, I’m gonna coin the term M-bomb (My name is Matt), oh yeah. I’m gonna drop the M-bomb on y’allz!