Idea: “CNN Fortune Cookie” Greasemonkey script
[Note: This entry has been re-written for clarity]
You remember when you were a kid, and someone taught you that trick where you add “in bed” to the end of a fortune cookie fortune and hopefully make it funny? So a fortune that says “Your great imagination will serve you well” becomes “Your great imagination will serve you well in bed.” You get the idea.
Well, I’ve written a Greasemonkey script that only does one thing: It adds “in bed” to the end of the main headline at CNN.com. Just install it, visit CNN.com, and wait for the entire page to finish loading. Then read the headline. I haven’t decided yet whether or not it’s funny, but it sure amuses me.
I call it The CNN Fortune Cookie script. (Link goes to the script).
For those who don’t know what Greasemonkey is, here’s the scoop. The Firefox web browser allows people to write plug-ins to make it more useful. One of those plug-ins is called Greasemonkey, which allows people to write short scripts that make specific websites more useful, or slightly changes the web browsing experience, without writing a full plug-in. Greasemonkey doesn’t do anything on its own without a script installed. You can see what kinds of scripts are available by visiting userscripts.org. Some of them are pretty nice.
Caveat: I’m not much of a scripter, so I can only hope this works.
Comments
Oh I get it. That is pretty funny, although probably not as funny as the fact that this script finally got me to break down and install Greasemonkey.
Posted by: Jake | January 23, 2007 12:56 PM
Spoiler alert!
in bed.
Posted by: Ben | January 23, 2007 1:12 PM
The headline it appeared on (something involving Bush’s planning) seemed to plausible for me to get it right away.
Very sad, and very amusing!
Posted by: Mark | January 23, 2007 1:29 PM
Here it is in one line:
document.getElementsByTagName(‘h2’)[0].appendChild(document.createTextNode(’ in bed’));
Apologies for running into the margin.
Posted by: Roland | January 23, 2007 4:33 PM
install a script that the author refuses to say what it does?
You’ve got to be kidding me.
Posted by: nerb | January 23, 2007 10:08 PM
I’ve also written a Greasemonkey script for CNN, which keeps track of the different headlines CNN attaches to their links, thereby reflecting CNN’s gradual editing/massaging of their headlines for a given story over time. It’s kind of subtle (and takes awhile to start working, since the data is stored on the user’s computer), but maybe it is something some of your readership might find interesting.
http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/6812
P.S.-Greasemonkey rules!
P.P.S.-So does Ironic Sans!
Posted by: Erik | January 24, 2007 11:15 PM
I’ve also written a Greasemonkey script for CNN, which keeps track of the different headlines CNN attaches to their links…
Funny, I use an iMacros script (with the EXTRACT command) for a similar purpose :-)
http://www.iopus.com/imacros/firefox/
https://addons.mozilla.org/firefox/3863/
Posted by: peter | January 27, 2007 3:49 PM
I’m officially a horrible person. The first CNN headline that came up after I installed the script: 60 years later, pain still fresh for WWII sex slave
Posted by: Redacted | April 27, 2007 3:46 PM
“Oh I get it. That is pretty funny, although probably not as funny as the fact that this script finally got me to break down and install Greasemonkey.”
This script got me to actually go to CNN, which may be even more alarming…
Still, this is pretty good :-)
“‘D.C. madam’ links force top State official to quit in bed”
Posted by: Eric | April 28, 2007 12:12 AM
Iraq recruits: Underpaid, undertrained, under pressure in bed
i’ll say!
Posted by: claudia | April 30, 2007 6:09 PM
“Iraqi recruits under pressure in bed”
Freud would be having a field day right now.
Posted by: Andrew | April 30, 2007 10:09 PM
Jury: Millionaire couple enslaved housekeepers…
Posted by: Anonymous | December 17, 2007 2:06 PM